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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27234112">It's a Cruel World</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ukthxbye/pseuds/Ukthxbye'>Ukthxbye</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>AUs of The Empty Hearse [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sherlock (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst and Feels, Canon Divergence - The Empty Hearse, Episode: s03e01 The Empty Hearse, F/M, One Shot, Sherlock Being Sherlock, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, bit of angry Molly, lets repeat the scene different location with more feeling this time</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 09:00:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,842</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27234112</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ukthxbye/pseuds/Ukthxbye</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock walked away after wishing her the best. But he couldn't leave it alone.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sherlock Holmes/Molly Hooper</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>AUs of The Empty Hearse [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1163192</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>44</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>It's a Cruel World</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Maybe it’s just my type.” Molly said out loud to herself. Like a reminder of what he’d done again. And yet she sensed a shift this time. She’d rather not consider why he asked. Not muse on how she almost slipped and recovered only because of his honourable act. </p><p> </p><p>Then she heard leather bottomed shoes on the pavement. </p><p> </p><p>She turned enough around to see him jogging back. But it didn’t warm her heart; only extending something already settled. A bubble of anger she hides so well met him with closed eyes and a sigh. </p><p> </p><p>“Did you forget something? Need something else?” She huffed. </p><p> </p><p>He half smiled, “You never really answered me.”</p><p> </p><p>She shook her head in irritation. “You answered for me.” she said shrugging her bag up on her shoulder. </p><p> </p><p>“Did I — Why are you walking away?” he said, taking a big step to catch up beside her. </p><p> </p><p>She walked faster. “I’m not having this conversation in front of someone’s flat again.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s fair.”</p><p> </p><p>And they kept moving against the icy breeze and snow, side glances as the other waited for a word.</p><p> </p><p>“So the chips...” he offered as they rounded the corner. </p><p> </p><p>“You already said it.”</p><p> </p><p>“And you always take everything I say as the truth?” </p><p> </p><p>She laughed out, irritation colouring its edge. “Perhaps? Perhaps not?  </p><p> </p><p>His eyes revealed a tell, but she missed it. His gloved hand at her shoulder and sternum, pressing her backward and to the side into the alley. Her backside smacked lightly against the brick facade as her bag fell to her feet. His focus on her mouth agape and her eyes wide.</p><p> </p><p>The censure in her eye uneven with the ease in which he accomplished moving her and shifted quickly as he leaned over and against her, their thighs grazing through his coat. Hands by her head.</p><p> </p><p>“When you’re against a wall, everything shows,” he whispered as she studied her face. One more test of what he was sure of two years ago. </p><p> </p><p>She gulped, licking her lips. “Everyone does this, anyone would do this. Fear—”</p><p> </p><p>“Are you afraid of me?”</p><p> </p><p>She looked to the side. Anything to keep those blue eyes from piercing through. “I could be.”</p><p> </p><p>He drew in a breath through his nose, “No… no we’re past that point now. I’m not discounting apprehension of some sort but its not of potential physical harm—”</p><p> </p><p>“You realise how cruel this game is, right?” She’d cocked her head, seeking his eyes for understanding. </p><p> </p><p>“So it’s a game now?”</p><p> </p><p>His voice dropped deeper with the words and it resonated in her chest as he shifted and it brushed against hers. </p><p> </p><p>She smiled, lips crooked, ignoring an unfamiliar ache in her cheeks.  “To think I really assumed you noble somewhere in there… and you are but..."</p><p> </p><p>“Speak your thoughts... You love him?"</p><p> </p><p>“Yes. You listened to everything,” she squinted. </p><p> </p><p>“<em>Oh... </em>I did. Words stumbled out to argue for your own convictions. But I’m not sure if you believed your own noble desires.” He smirked as her cheeks coloured.</p><p> </p><p>“God, you’re a conceited arse,” she gritted out, teeth clenched. “You really think you got this sussed all out, don’t you?”</p><p> </p><p>He looked up and back, “Well.”</p><p> </p><p>She jutted her chin up, sliding her hands from the wall to his chest. “So what if I want to kiss you? And so what if I want to take you back to my flat?”</p><p> </p><p>He blinked, but not freezing. Almost as if he expected it, and she’d guessed correctly.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s awfully bold, so... what if I said yes?” He waited, studying the lines in her face. </p><p> </p><p>“You won’t.” </p><p> </p><p>He grinned, “I just said yes, Molly—”</p><p> </p><p>“No, you didn’t.” </p><p> </p><p>He shrugged, ignoring the light pressure of her fingers against his coat lapels. “OK then I say— “</p><p> </p><p>“No. You didn’t truly say yes, and I didn’t really ask. You love a hypothetical and that’s all this is. So who’s believing their own bullshit right now.” She smiled, but he noted the pain in the tone. But he had no desire to stop as much as explore it. </p><p> </p><p>“So hypothetically… what would happen if I kissed you?”</p><p> </p><p>“You already have. I can hypothesise from the previous instances so far you’d still start at my cheek.”</p><p> </p><p>She tried desperately to not comprehend his thigh rubbing against hers as he shifted.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s supposing I mean apology, but that’s a terrible way to begin what we’re both suggesting. We’re beyond that now.”</p><p> </p><p>“Are we? Then you tell me.”</p><p> </p><p>“No, you started the scenario. See it to completion. I’ll only argue if it’s something out of character.”</p><p> </p><p>She looked up, “I’m not the one that has someone pushed up against a wall.”</p><p> </p><p>He allowed their clouded breath to linger together before speaking. “Not just someone”</p><p><br/>
That sad smirk appeared he’d mapped out one too many times. “Oh yes, that’s right… I’m the one that mattered most, you said.”</p><p> </p><p>His brow knitted. “Yes.”</p><p> </p><p>“And I take that as the truth then?”</p><p> </p><p>He sighed. “We’ve slipped away from our hypothetical.”</p><p> </p><p>She shrugged, her shoulders rubbing against his hands. “Or have we? If I mattered most would we even be here.” She glanced down, and he leaned his head back to catch her squeezing her eyes shut tight. “You’ve put me against the wall, Sherlock. You do it… literally and figuratively every time.”</p><p> </p><p>One more push. </p><p> </p><p>“So I kiss you... and it doesn’t stop there. It follows its natural conclusion, am I correct?” He’d thought about it. A drug no different, and he understood the chemical process pushing through their veins. The needle is much more predictable. This is less so. </p><p> </p><p>“I’d like to think I would have more control than that. It wouldn’t be fair to Tom at all. He didn’t know. Doesn’t know and can’t.” </p><p> </p><p><em>Who’s the virtuous one here then, </em>he mused, even though he appreciated it. “But what about what Molly wants?”</p><p> </p><p>“I want to be myself at the end of the day. I’m sure you do too. I’m not certain what I’d be if we…,” she glanced up and then back down. “If that happened today.”  </p><p> </p><p>“So noble nature prevails.”</p><p> </p><p>She stood on her toes, angling her lips near his, not caring where they touched now, and let her breath caress his lips as she spoke still enough distance to hold his lidded stare with her own.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s for you and I hate that. It’s your image I’m protecting.”</p><p> </p><p>“My image? You think that—”</p><p> </p><p>“The idea you have of yourself. What matters most. So there’s your truth if you need it.”</p><p> </p><p>The nearness of her lips suddenly overwhelmed, and he sucked in a shallow breath through his teeth.  “I should have kept walking earlier.”</p><p> </p><p>She dropped off her toes leaning back against the wall away from him “And maybe I should have just let you get me some chips and talk about cases and… and...”</p><p> </p><p>His hands lifted and one found her side near her hip. Her breath caught as the other hand rested on cheek, thumb stroking along the cheekbone. </p><p> </p><p>His lips dried, and he licked them, useless as the wind dried them out again.  The ache only because of winter air, he hoped as he leaned down speaking near her face. “You help me at great sacrifice every single time. Why? No. Let’s not look at that truth. And I’m sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>She closed her eyes, unsure if his lips might ruin everything they’d convinced the other against. By all technicalities, they still landed on her cheek. But so close to the corner of her mouth it couldn’t compare to earlier. </p><p> </p><p>And there they stayed, achingly delicate, warming against her skin. His thumb tracked down to her bottom lip, snagging it to a tug under his leather glove. The tanned lambskin mixed with faded tobacco filled her senses, sending a taste of both across her palette as she drew a shallow breath.  He rubbed along, pushing away a snowflake that made its way as the breeze swirled around them, melting while others hung in her chestnut hair. He lifted his head just enough to capture her stare when her eyes fluttered open.  </p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry once again, my Molly. But thank you for reminding me of myself.”</p><p> </p><p>She pursed her lips at his words ‘my Molly’, echoing across her mind, but his thumb coaxed them to relax back open. She murmured, “What happens…”</p><p> </p><p>“Tom and you will be very happy. With his dog and his friends at the pub. And safe. As you should be,” he said it low. </p><p> </p><p>“What does it matter if I’m safe?” <em>What did it mean anyway</em>, she mused. </p><p> </p><p>He didn’t care for the resignation in her expression.</p><p> </p><p>His eyes frowned, his tone more serious.  “Don’t speak like that again. It leans too much toward an ideation and you’re far too stable for that.”</p><p> </p><p>Her smile crooked. “You don’t know me, really… but I know you. It’s funny, isn’t it?”</p><p> </p><p>Her bottom lip quivered once as he caressed across it, the tip of his thumb finding her top one. She closed her eyes again, One side of his lips curling up, “Its much better that way… this way.”</p><p> </p><p>“Just let me be, Sherlock.”</p><p>Tears leaked at the edge of bottom eyelashes and his chest ached when he took a breath. </p><p> </p><p>“Just be what?” he whispered, the words catching in his throat as searched her face. He could see the thought there on the surface but loaded with emotion and he steeled himself for it </p><p> </p><p>Her voice quivered. “Whatever you want.”</p><p> </p><p>His stare shifted to her bottom lip, tracing along with the movements of her phrase, softening their tremble. </p><p> </p><p>But his eyes drifted back to hers. Dark and clear. And unblinking. </p><p> </p><p>Abstruse desires swirled in. Confusing him with the speed they surfaced in her presence. The nearness overwhelmed his senses now, every angle of his fingertips measured and recorded. Her hips bone slid as she moved. He knew it even through all the layers and took his hand backward to the wall. Like a match held between his fingers too long. He dropped his palm from her face as he stepped back. </p><p> </p><p>He looked at the sky and then at the ground, noticing the cold air sweeping in between them as he shoved his hands in his pockets. “I want you to be happy, Molly. That’s all. You must find that anyway you can. It’s meant for you and you deserve it,” and he glanced back down at her offering a sad smile of his own. “That’s the truth.”</p><p> </p><p> One last look. Their practised stares robbing their lungs of oxygen like a habit. He knew why his breath caught as he turned, walking toward the same way they came, and it sped him on.</p><p> </p><p>She slid down the wall, landing against her bag with a slump.</p><p> </p><p>“I do deserve to be happy… but… so do you, Sherlock. Any way you can find it.”</p><p> </p><p>The space around her freezing in his absence. She stood stiff legged, wrapping her scarf across her mouth, ignoring the prickling, knowing full well it wasn’t from the cold. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>inspired by art by terrissamorriver on tumblr asking what would happen if Sherlock tuned around. I felt the same but with more feeling because they aren't "fuck it" kind of people but they push the boundaries with each other nonetheless</p><p>Song that deeply inspired it is Lover's Edge( Who Have I But You) by Night Beds. The shift in the song matched the shift in the fic and it sort of reflects what they are both saying. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hja26_LFXSE</p><p>Title is a lyric from that song</p><p>Thanks to Mouse9 for beta and HA! i found a new kink for her. </p><p>yell away at me in the comments lol</p></blockquote></div></div>
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